When Multitasking Goes Wrong.

Disclaimer: No animals or children where harmed during the happening of this story or in the reenactment. Nor is this posting an admission that this event truly happening.

When Multitasking Goes Awry.

Starring:

Zoe Maddison as Herself
Stuntman Mr. Dinosaur as Distressed Zoe Maddison
Mr. Phone as The Phone
Dad as The Voice on the Phone
Mom as The Narrator

The Scene:

A living room with a couch and ottoman next to each other.

It was a semi dark and stormy day. Like any other given afternoon, Zoe and I were laying on the couch feeding and having a grand ole time. Then out of nowhere the phone rings sending the baby's startle reflex into high gear. Her limbs were suddenly stiff and flailing about. Barely avoiding a black eye I reach for the phone and answer it. But it was just dad saying he was back from dinner and now at the hotel. We talk on the phone about the day's happening and blah blah blah. Then dad says he needs to put me on hold for a few minutes. Cue the multitasking. Thinking I will have enough time to make another phone call and ask a question dad wants the answer to I put down the first phone and proceed to the dining room. Leaving a crying Zoe on the couch and the phone on the ottoman.

Thinking nothing of the fact I am 15 feet away from the future shenanigans, I sit down at the table and start talking away. Vehemently writing down the details dad wants to know, I suddenly feel this pulling sensation in the back of my mind. My attention slowly turns to what is no longer occurring. A sound that is no longer there is now accompanied by a new sound. What is that absent sound? And what is that new sound I ask myself. I realize this is not a new sound per say but a voice saying "Hello! Hello! Hello!!!!!" Is there someone in my house? Is there someone at my door? Nope. I finally recognize the voice as dad's voice through the phone. But why does it sound so strange? I turn around and take a few steps back to the living room and my eyes open wider than ever before. If Zoe didn't have a diaper on, I would have the most perfect view of her derriere ever! And it would have been so beautiful in any other situation. But this is not any other situation. To my surprise she has apparently learned the new skill of rolling over and over. She has rolled herself from the couch onto the strategically-placed-by-paranoid-mom ottoman. Her potentially cute little booty is propped up in the air by her knees because her little head, shoulders, and her arms are now hanging over the edge of the ottoman.




Her little legs are moving trying to help out of her newly acquired dangerous position. But to no avail to the positive side of this situation but rather she is only moving herself further over the edge.



That is when super-save-the-day-mom steps in. Sometimes when you create a situation you have to remedy it. I swoop in lift her little heavy-as-a-ton-of-bricks body out of emanate danger and place her right back where she rolled from. Hind sight is apparently not 20/20 when so close to the event you should be avoiding again. I then hear a very clear as day "Hello!". I look down to see that Zoe had rolled over onto the phone therefore covering it and making dad sound funny. I yell into his phone "Hold on!" and continue on with my other phone call having that lady none the wiser of the just occurring haphazard careless parenting of me, I mean of that fictional mom lady.

Just occuring side thought: AHHHHHHH!!!! I'm now a "mom lady"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!

Zoe and Mr. Dino after the making of this story.

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Dad's Home!!

Well, finally Adam is home after 20 hours of travel (it only took 24 hours to get there in the first place). At first Zoe stared and stared at him with her I just woke up, red, I'm sick too eyes. But she eventually remembered him and is all smiles to his songs, play, and loud funny noises. Most importantly (from my point of view) she remembered that he is the one she is supposed to throw up all over on and she preformed awesomely.

She is sooo huge now. Her tummy time is going great and she holds her head and neck up while we take walks.

Miracle #4 and #5. What a roll we are on!

Yesterday she did it again. A little whiny but no banshee crying. All in all a good little girl. Mark that as a good night. Not much to say, it was a quick dinner because we had some Wii gaming to do at the neighbors.

Tonight we went to Macaroni Grill with a friend. Little Zoe fell asleep on the drive over. She was unpleasantly woken up by freezing gusting wind on the way from the car to the restaurant front doors (its in the 60s- that's cold here people). Was a bit moody from it. Pooped during the appetizer. Was changed and was happy again. Then started to cry during the main dish. But was happy to bounce on the lap during the first few bites of the entree. Then all of a sudden I saw her the back of her head. Ahhhhhhhhhh sleeping baby. Yes! Once again dinner without a screaming baby at a loud restaurant on a Friday night even. So I threw her back into the car seat with only a little complainy sleepy whine and she was out for the rest of the entree and dessert. She woke up just a little at the end to say its time for the buffets to open. I agreed and so we headed home. Mark that as a successful dinner night!!!!! What a good little girl. I think I will keep her around for tomorrow's dinner.

When's dad coming home?

When is dad coming home? 11 days down 4 more to go. Until then I sleep.

Miracle Part III

Yes three days in a row now. It seems like old news now. I made it through another dinner without bleeding ears. Yup, she didn't cry or scream like a banshee. She was awake the whole time through cooking and eating. She did squeak a few times but nothing worthy of checking on her. And no contributions to her shirt either. But she did continue with her bubble making.

Miracle Two Days in a Row

Yesterday was the first time since Zoe came home from the hospital that she slept through either one of us eating dinner. Well tonight she did it again. Sort of. While I was prepping the chicken she started to wake up. While the chicken was in the oven she started to cry. Oh my spirits started to sink into the pit of despair. So I pick her up, walk her, bouncer her, put her in front of the mirror, change her, and place her in her bouncer thingy. All is well and happy in Zoeland. Ding! Chicken done. Chicken on plate. Fork in hand. Fork to plate. No cries. Chicken in belly. No cries. Toot toot from the neither regions of a little one. Yet still no cry. More chicken in belly. No cries. Unidentifiable bodily functions sounds. More chicken in belly. Yet no cries. All chicken in the belly. Dinner done. No cries. Ahh another night of a blissful silent dinner. But of course the story can not end with that. Remember those other bodily function noises? Well this is how I found her. Better than a crying baby during dinner from my point of view.

What you can't tell from this picture is that she is also wet half way down her right arm, the top of her shoulder, and down the back. Ya and the smell! If only this blog has smellivision oh you would be loving all that barf on her shirt too.

And as a special note she has been crying the whole time I have been writing this. That's ok because I ate dinner without my ears bleeding.

Tummy Time

Baby reasoning states that raising your eyebrows will help her lift her head.

Why stop at cow tipping when you can Zoe tip.


Why stop at Zoe tipping when you can place her in her own bowl.


Well, you should stop before you place her in a bowl because she doesn't want to be in a bowl for some strange reason. So she cries.

Then you'll have to get her out. But that's not easy because her shoulder has slipped below the lip. So now you have to improvise.



That didn't work. And so you try again.


Once out she is as happy as she is during bath time.


Which is about the same happiness Christine has for a 3am feeding. It's a scary picture and this is a G rated blog so you will have to use your imagination.

Finally, later, at the end of a rough day when we are all happy.

Smiling Baby

When we first put Zoe in this a month or so ago she absolutely hated it. Cried and cried and cried. Now its all smiles all the time.

Speaking of things Zoe doesn't truly appreciate, she really is not all that appreciative of 5.1 surround sound, especially loud scenes. At least we know her ears are working.